Mountains on our mind

A photo from the archives today — this is us in 2003, before we were farmers, at Holden Pass. It was on hikes such as these that our farm dreams were born.

I’m working on the newsletter early in the day this week, because tonight we’re doing some rather unprecedented for us — we’re heading up to Portland this evening. We rarely go that direction, let alone mid-week! But Things Are Happening that are pulling us toward certain people for comfort and connection right now.

Namely — The Big Thing that has us compulsively checking the internet for updates is the Wolverine Fire, a wildfire burning at Lake Chelan, just miles away from our former home and community at Holden Village. Holden Village is a remote Lutheran retreat center, housed in a former mining town in the midst of the Glacier Peak Wilderness Area. Casey and I spent lots of time working there, including a whole year after we graduated from college. The place and its people had a profound effect on shaping who we are as adults today — instilling in us wonder for nature, appreciation for community, love of singing, and more.

In fact, after a long hiatus spent starting up the farm and our family, we are planning to return to Holden this winter. Now that we are in the midst of our tenth year of farming, we feel the need for renewal and perspective. And, that is exactly what Holden strives to do for people — to provide a place apart (far apart) where people can come when needing rest, recreation, discernment, and inspiration. Our plans right now are to head that way for a few weeks in January, during which time we will help share our skills and gifts with the village. Casey especially has lots to offer to a community that is constantly remodeling old buildings — when we lived there before, he was the Village Plumber, and he knows the systems there intimately.

Those are our plans, but today we are in waiting mode, holding a perpetual vigil in our hearts as we watch the Wolverine Fire and its movements. We are not alone in this. Thanks to the internet, we have joined hundreds and thousands of Holdenites across the country who are waiting. Included in this group are the hundreds of people who were — until last week — living at Holden. They were all swiftly evacuated and are now waiting to return home.

The Big Question, of course, is what the fire will do. Will it continue up the Railroad Creek Valley to the village itself? That is its trajectory so far, spreading west to the village, south to Chelan, and north toward Stehekin.

The village has been preparing for this possibility for years. When we lived at Holden, the Operators Managers used to say, “It’s not a question if ‘if’ but ‘when’ the valley will burn.” So, old shingle roofs have been upgraded with metal ones; there are fire breaks in place; and sprinklers are running in the village. And, firefighters are on location doing further work to create fire breaks. So, we wait. If you want to see the latest news, here is a link to the latest incident updates.

Again, the fire is not a surprise. Holden is located in a region where The Forests Burn. Just as here on the island, The River Floods. Anyone who has lived at Holden for an extended period learns to respect the power of nature. And to understand the inevitability of that power. Because the village is so remote, the people who live in that place (folks like Casey and me) have to be prepared for emergencies, whether those be medical situations or natural disasters like avalanches and fires.

When we lived at Holden, a fall rainstorm brought Railroad Creek to flood levels, damaging two bridges and breaking off a large bank of the river that contained a significant and important chunk of roadway. Within hours, our landscape had changed forever — routes that were part of everyday traffic had to be reworked. Before we knew how much damage would occur that night, some of us stood on a bridge over the raging creek (river now) and pointed flashlights at the water. As we watched whole trees float beneath us, we felt the bridge shuddering. And then we quickly retreated to indoor safety while the rain continued to fall.

Fires, floods (and even earthquakes!) — these are nature at its most extreme. While these events can be terrifying and damaging, they can also remind us that we are alive. I think part of the appeal of living at Holden is this sense that we are living right up against all sides of nature, both the subtle wonder of a butterfly in flight and the terrible power of avalanches. I have heard people who love living in Alaska express the same sentiment. They love it because they know they could walk outside and die. I used to find such statements rather puzzling, but I think that is part of the magic of any rugged and remote place. Perhaps just living so closely to these elements, one has to let go of anxiety and embrace each moment of life.

Of course, when we are talking about reality, not every story has a happy ending. Not every person lost in the wilderness is found (most are). Casey and I have stories about such things, stories that have shaped who we are (and are stories for another time). But part of being in those remote places is knowing that their existence is not a certain thing. The forces are so strong. Yet, even knowing that the village is in the midst of a region where The Forest Burns, the thought of it burning is still profoundly tragic. So many people have poured their hearts into the preservation of that village so that others could fill it with endless songs and prayers and gatherings. The Forest Burns, and yet we hope that Holden itself Will Not.

So, here we are on our farm, here we are in the midst of high summer, thinking about another place. I find myself lying awake at night, mentally walking through the spaces I once knew so well at Holden. I mentally revisit each place with all my senses, remembering the particular smell in the basement of the Hotel, the warm sunlight on the walk to Ten Mile Falls, the sound of snow shifting off of roofs. I find myself wondering if I will ever experience that place in those ways again. Which of course I won’t — no place is static and unchanging — but I hope I can revisit them in some new sense again, hopefully in January.

Holden is where I first fell in love with the idea of a Place — of knowing one place and Loving It over years and through many seasons. The farm today is a direct result of that love. Because we have been here almost continuously for so many years, I find it hard to stir up any of those same intense feelings of nostalgia. And, why should I? Here I am, looking at the same, yet ever-changing, view out the window that I have looked at for years and years. But my eyes feel different today, as I caress this view with love and appreciation in my heart for this place where we put our roots down so many years ago.

I may even find it hard to leave tonight just to drive to Portland. But it will be good to pull ourselves away to join others to sing Holden Evening Prayer, the sung liturgy composed by Marty Haugen at Holden in 1986. This same service has been sung weekly at Holden ever since, and is used in Lutheran churches across the country. I look forward to connecting with others who are also walking through their days with Holden on their minds and hearts.

I know others are waiting this summer too. Waiting for the rain for so many reasons. Wildfires are affecting populations up and down the west. It will come, but perhaps not soon enough for everything. At times like this, it’s hard to know what to pray for. Personally, I am not fond of praying against the forces of nature. But I am fond of praying for the strength of people, for their safety and good use of their skills. For their ability to be successful stewards of the places they love and inhabit. May we be good and loving stewards always of this farm of ours.

And may you appreciate your own place(s) this week. Even backyards can be made sacred through attention and love. Here in Oregon, nature can visit us everywhere — the sun and the butterflies reaching all places. Pause and appreciate these wonders.

Hopefully by next week I’ll have some good news. In the meantime, we wait and persevere and harvest and sing. Enjoy this week’s vegetables!

Your farmers, Katie & Casey Kulla

P.S. We made it to Portland and back before I had time to get this up on the internet. It was lots of driving, but oh such good singing!

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CSA Open House coming up!
Saturday, August 15
5 pm farm tour • 6 pm potluck dinner

Join us on the farm next week for our second farm event of the year! Arrive at 5 pm for a farm tour with Farmer Casey. Then we’ll gather by our house at 6 pm for a potluck dinner. If you can remember, please bring plates and utensils for your family (we have some, but not enough for quite everyone!). We hope you can join us!

Directions to the farm: Take HWY-18 to the Dayton exit. Drive straight through Dayton and stay on Wallace Rd/HWY-221 for about seven miles. Turn LEFT onto Grand Island Rd. After the bridge, turn RIGHT at the first 4-way intersection, onto SE Upper Island Rd. Our driveway is immediately on your LEFT (we have a red pole barn at the road). Our house is the 2-story brown one toward the back-right of the driveway. Find a parking spot and join us there! If you have questions, you can email or call me: 503-474-7661.

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