Decisionitis and its cures

Potato planting with children = so much fun!

Lately I have been struggling with I’m going to call “Decisionitis.” That is: feeling overwhelmed by too many decisions to make. All the time.

“Decisionitis” is, of course, a side effect of responsibility. As the guiding forces in the farm and our family, Casey and I have a lot on our plate. Some of the decisions are Big. Some are Little. They add up to a lot of occasions throughout every day that require Casey and/or me to say: “Yes, we will do this” or “No, we will do that.” And then there are the times when we say, “Hmmmm … we don’t know what to do!”

All these decisions are perhaps part of what I love so much about seasonal farm eating. We still have to determine exactly what we will cook and how, but the options are cut way down — what vegetables do we have in our cooler? What kind of meat did Casey butcher this week, and what cuts are remaining for us? It becomes much simpler, just a matter of pairing things and choosing which of our handful of simple meal preparations we will use. And yet the seasonal turnings bring variety to our household nonetheless. I am sure that if I had to go to a supermarket and decide our week’s food from all the choices, I would find myself totally overwhelmed! I’d probably end up buying the same things week in and week out, ironically ending up with less variety in our diet (in fact, I know this is what I’d do, because it is exactly what Casey and I did before we worked on a farm!). Seasonal eating is a blessing in my life!

(On a different note of respite from Decisionitis: I recently joined the McMinnville Women’s Choir, and certainly the singing is an amazing part of my week, but there is also bliss in going somewhere and having someone else be totally in charge for an hour and a half every week. I just show up and sing. It’s lovely.)

Regarding all our Big and Small decisions, most days I can keep perspective and realize which ones warrant more energy and which ones will probably result in Everything Will Be Fine Regardless of What I Choose.

But, then, there are the days when I just don’t want to decide. Ever again. “Somebody, just tell me what to do!” These are days when I lose that important perspective and find myself needlessly worrying about the variables and all the possible outcomes. Making decisions so often requires predicting future events, which of course is impossible and takes our human focus away from the only “real” moment, which is now (also the only moment in which we can enjoy peace and joy!). Even more so, some decisions just don’t have obviously “right” answers from the start. Sometimes there are inevitable conflicts involved, and it’s just hard to work through how we should proceed — like having something to shelve but having no shelf to put it on. It happens with some regularity.

This weekend was one of those moments. We experienced a potential collision of plans and schedules as we realized that Saturday through Tuesday morning was the prime potato planting according to the biodynamic planting calendar, but we already had a family trip planned for Sunday through Tuesday and the rhythm of our workweek wouldn’t allow extra time for the crew to plant without us (especially because we’re losing one of our employees this week as she moves on to new adventures).

What to do? What to do? Cancel our family trip? That seemed like the most obvious solution, but it also felt very sad — as crazy it is, we could really use a brief bit of away time in the midst of the busy planting season. Our family’s routine of “mini vacays” (one or two night stays at state parks) have become an important balancing part of our life.

So should we just plant off of the cosmic schedule? That certainly seemed possible, but then why are we paying any attention to this planting schedule at all? And potatoes are a huge crop for us that we plant just once per year, so it seemed like a poor choice for tinkering with the system we have decided to use.

Finally, we had the idea: let’s plant on Saturday evening when the potato window opens, and let’s invite CSA members to join us! But even that idea started to seem crazy on Saturday morning as we realized the ground was still fairly wet and prepped but not perfect or pretty. We wavered all day, wondering if we should postpone (but to when?). Rain fell a few times, further “dampening” our enthusiasm for our plan, but sometimes you just have to stick to things.

So, we did. CSA members came, along with some of our crew and friends, and the afternoon turned into one of the most idyllic moments I’ve ever experienced on the farm. The golden sunlight warmed us all; children played joyously at the edges of the fields (and helped a bit here and there too); the ground was soft enough for us to easily plant (in spite of its rough appearance); and within two hours of working steadily we had fully half of our potatoes planted! And then we enjoyed a potluck dinner!

We’ll have to see how the potatoes grow of course, but at this point we certainly feel like we made the right decision in this case after all! If nothing else, we had a truly lovely afternoon of good work with good company. It was a reminder of what lies at the heart of our efforts as a farm and family — the people, the place, and the connection between all of it. It was especially grounding for me, since it was one of the few extended bits of field work I’ve been able to do since having Rusty four and a half years ago. It was a revelation to have my children so happily distracted by playmates so that I could (mostly) work with both hands at once!

Sometimes the cure of Decisionitis is to let go. This is something I need to do more of — recognize when things I see as “Decisions” are really just occasions to wait and see. And, in cases like this weekend, sometimes the cure is to find a fun solution that might not even have been immediately visible and might not even “make sense” in any normal understanding of logic! (i.e. plant on a weekend? include kids? when it is wet? because a “planting calendar” tells us to? this is new “logic” for us!) Whatever the cosmic/intuitive forces at work, the potato planting flowed beautiful, and I trust that our fun solution was the right one. Furthermore, we think a potato planting party will become an annual tradition around these parts, since the work is so family friendly and accessible for folks of many different physical abilities. Look at that! Not only did we get a big chunk of our potatoes planted, we birthed a new farm tradition to boot! Perhaps next year you will join us! (And once we acquire our 2015 planting calendar, we will schedule time for this project too!)

And, now, we get to head off to Silver Falls with lighter hearts, knowing that only half of the potatoes remain to be planted … Oh, and it must be noted that heading away from the farm mid-May is another occasion that doesn’t immediately “make sense” and has caused me some stress as I consider how in the world we will make this work! But, again, I know that once we are out in the woods as a family, I will remember how essential such illogical decisions are to keeping the bigger picture working. Sometimes illogical is not counter-intuitive. Sometimes our logic and intuition collide. As a highly analytical person, that collision can be a moment of stress for me, but I am learning when to let go of my need to understand everything all the time!

Anyhow, I imagine that many of you out there suffer from Decisionitis at times too. Certain seasons of our lives present us with more of this than others — building/buying a house; starting a business; transitions in general; treatment of illnesses … This week may you take comfort in any familiar rhythms you have built into your life to help you carry your responsibilities and give you room for intuitive answers amidst all the options. If you don’t have rhythms yet, perhaps this spring would be a good time to start forming them so that you can let yourself rest and be open to alternatives and trust that answers exist (even if they don’t “make sense”). At the very least, you already know what vegetables you are eating this week! Enjoy!

Your farmers, Katie & Casey Kulla

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Newberg CSA returns! Happy news this week! After some consideration (but not too much! Ha!), we’ve “decided” to restart our Newberg CSA drop this year! The season length and cost is the same as the “Main Season” CSA we have been advertising on our website, but the pick-up day will be Wednesdays (after 4 pm) at a location next to George Fox. I have added the Newberg info to our Vegetable CSA page — please let us know if you have any questions!

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Meet this week’s vegetables:

• Radishes — More radishes! Given the upcoming turn in weather and temperature, we may be nearing the end of potential radish season! Savor these sweet/spicy spring vegetables while they last! We favor slicing them thin and topping our salads (along with a multitude of other toppings).
• Asian greens mix — We would probably lean toward cooking these greens in our house. They will wilt and cook down faster than kale or chard and go well with Asian flavors such as ginger, soy sauce, sesame oil, etc. I keep such ingredients in the house just for when we’ve got some Asian greens around! I love it!
• Salad mix
• Chard
• Nettles — See last week’s newsletter for a multitude of nettle suggestions!
• Sweet onion babies — Aren’t these cute? And so delicious! We have really been enjoying the first of these sweet onions. The flavor is mild enough that they are wonderful in lightly cooked or raw applications, such as salad dressings, egg salad, sandwiches, etc.
• Green garlic — Casey shows his love to me by bringing me green garlic and leaving it on the counter just in time for me to start cooking a meal. I feel very appreciated when I find it in the kitchen, and even more so once I have it sauteeing in butter and am immersed in that savory bliss.